


FML: Dead Squirrel

by holmes221b



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Crack, Language, M/M, Sexual Situations, morgue humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-13 07:01:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1216951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holmes221b/pseuds/holmes221b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McCoy discovers that there’s more than dust bunnies under his roommate’s bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	FML: Dead Squirrel

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for [this prompt](http://buckleup-meme.livejournal.com/5309.html?thread=1251517#t1251517) (yes it's my own prompt) on the buckleup-meme on livejournal, as well as a fill for j&b's get wood! flashfic challenge. Yes, there's a Doctor Who reference in this as well.

"Hey, Bones, wanna have sex on my bed?" Jim asked suddenly.  
McCoy scowled.  
"I need to study for my comparative xenobiology final, Jim," the doctor reminded his roommate, "and you need to be studying for your final in Federation Law."  
"I already know every thing I need to know about Federation Law, Bones," Jim reminded McCoy, "and I’m sure you already know every thing you need to know about comparative xenobiology, too."  
"I wish that were true, Jim, but it’s not," McCoy admitted.  
"What’s stumping you, Bones?"  
"Remembering where the sex organs are in Orions," McCoy replied.  
"I can do that," Jim declared.  
McCoy gave the blonde a sharp look.  
"Remember that green chick in our Recent Federation History class last semester? She’s an Orion," Jim explained. "She was fucking _awesome_ in bed, Bones!”  
McCoy rolled his eyes.  
"Sometimes, I wish I didn’t know you, Jim," he muttered.  
"No, you don’t, Bones," Jim disagreed, pulling his shirt off as he spoke.  
"Dammit, Jim," McCoy growled, but he didn’t stop Jim from stripping.  
"Now it’s your turn, Bones," the blonde announced, "unless you want me to rip your uniform off of you?"  
"Hell no, I don’t want to have to explain to the Quartermaster what happened to my uniform," McCoy growled, hurriedly stripping before Jim could try and assist him.  
As soon as McCoy was completely naked, Jim lunged at him, knocking the doctor backwards onto his bed.  
"I thought we were going to do it on your bed, darlin’," McCoy remarked in a low growl that went straight to Jim’s groin.  
"Yeah, don’t worry about it, Bones," Jim assured him. "We’ll get there, eventually."  
McCoy tweaked one of Jim’s nipples. Hard.  
Jim yelped like a little school girl—McCoy could easily picture Jim as a four foot tall, freckled blonde girl with pigtails based solely on that yelp.  
"Your bed, now," ordered McCoy, "or I’ll get my clothes back on."  
Jim rolled his eyes, but he pulled the doctor back to his feet then all but dragged him over to his bed. McCoy promptly pounced, pinning Jim down on the blonde’s bed.  
"Now what am I going to do with you, Jim?" the doctor mused aloud, a wicked grin on his face.  
Jim scowled, just wanting the doctor to get a move on already and fuck him senseless.  
McCoy mashed his lips against Jim’s, devouring the taste of his saliva like his life depended on it. Jim kissed the doctor right back, just as fervently.  
McCoy’s hands eagerly worked their way down to Jim’s erect penis, delicately plucking the blonde’s many scars along the way.  
"I think I love you," Jim moaned into McCoy’s mouth.  
McCoy massaged Jim’s cock with his talented hands, causing Jim to moan even louder in pleasure, breaking the kiss in the process.  
"I don’t feel right. I feel like I’m leaking!"  
McCoy snorted in amusement at Jim’s words—the kid always had his mouth going, even during sex—before shifting backwards just enough so that he could get his mouth to Jim’s now fully erect, leaking cock. He licked the droplets of pre-cum, teasing Jim with his tongue’s tender caresses.  
"Do it, do it, DO IT!" the blonde begged, urging on the doctor.  
McCoy didn’t need to be asked again, and it wasn’t long before his warm, moist mouth engulfed Jim’s cock. And if that wasn’t enough, the doctor’s tongue seemed to have a mind of its own, as it wriggled around in his mouth, tickling Jim’s cock in the process. Under the combined assault of both McCoy’s mouth and his tongue, Jim finally came, in the doctor’s mouth, with a yell.  
His mouth full of Jim’s cum, McCoy swallowed, reveling in the salty tang of the blonde’s cum. Jim wished that he could orgasm a second time, right then and there, at watching Bones swallow like that.  
"No sense in wasting ammunition, Jim," McCoy growled in his low, sexy voice (he’d noticed Jim was staring at him).  
"I totally agree, Bones," Jim declared, before asking, "Can I swallow your cum too?"  
McCoy snorted, opened his mouth to reply. Then he suddenly closed his mouth so quickly that his teeth audibly clicked together.  
"Bones?" Jim asked, beginning to get concerned. Had he somehow managed to offend the doctor?  
"Why is there a dead squirrel under your bed, Jim?" the doctor demanded, all thoughts of sex completely gone from his mind.  
"Dead squirrel?" Jim asked, drawing a blank.  
"Yes, there is a dead squirrel under your bed, Jim," McCoy repeated. "It looks like it’s been dead for about a week."  
"Oh, that’s just Gary, Bones," Jim declared, his mind no longer drawing a blank.  
"Gary? You named a dead squirrel ‘Gary’?" McCoy demanded.  
"Can’t we just get back to fucking now, Bones?" Jim begged.  
"Dammit, Jim, but I can’t fuck you while there’s a dead squirrel under your damn bed."  
"And what were you doing just now, Bones? Dancing?"  
"I didn’t know about the squirrel then, Jim," McCoy pointed out.  
"But it was still there."  
"Dammit, Jim, you are a fucking asshole," the doctor growled. He was still kneeling on the floor beside Jim’s bed.  
"But I have a dead squirrel named Gary under my bed, Bones," the blonde reminded him.  
McCoy rolled his eyes.  
"That’s not something to brag about, Jim," he observed, before pulling out a hypospray and dosing the blonde with its contents. Jim briefly wondered if the doctor could create hypos out of thin air before the sedative kicked in, and he blacked out.


End file.
